10-16-12 Saying Yes when you want to say No

So many of us say yes when we want to say no. I used to do that and it is a place where I would blame the other person because they should know better.

I’ll use this example:

While I was going through my divorce to the father of my two daughters, a friend with her three children moved in for a while. Her children were younger than mine. We lived together quite well except she would wash one of her large rugs in my washing machine.

I did not want her to do that because I was afraid the machine would not be able to handle that big rug without breaking down. This was an issue for me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to ask her to wash that rug at a laundromat. I know this seems really silly, but I think it is a good representation of how we fall into these kind of situations.

I was finally able to ask her to take her not to wash her rug in my machine. She was fine with it. I was so surprised once I finally got the nerve up to ask her how easy it was.

This then led to many other situations where I used to say yes, when I wanted to say no.

It took time before I took complete responsibility for my own state of mind and was able to finally always say exactly what I meant. I could not believe how scary it was to ask her. I really fretted over this until I was able to ask her. There were many other situations that I have fretted over telling someone like my boss or my co-worker exactly what I meant to say. I can honestly say, now, I have no problem speaking my mind in a kind way always taking into consideration the other persons dignity.

If I don’t want to say what I mean in a kind way, then, I look inside myself what my real issue is and I always find the issue is my own perception. I ask for help in choosing for God. The help is always instantly there and I am surprised and how simple the answer is.

Another example of this is when my husband asked me for a divorce, I was clueless that he was not happy.
He is a really nice chap and he was doing all the thinking and feeling for me and could not bring himself to
express what he was unhappy about.  During counseling, I found out that he had been unhappy for a long time and was not able to say anything about it because he was just too nice of a guy.

We could have saved out marriage if he would have been able to tell me what he was feeling. I would have tried to change whatever needed changed or we could have went to counseling long before he got to the point of no return for himself.  He was not being a "nice guy" by not being able to express what was wrong, he was being cruel because it ended our marriage and hurt our children.  He beat himself up over his inability to say what he was feeling for three years before he realized that we did not need to get divorced.  It was too late for me and there was another woman involved.

10-11-12 We can literally stop our suffering.

I received a verision of this in my email.  The words are not mine, I just changed them to fit the subject of this blog.

I can elect to change all thoughts that are the cause for any hurt or fear or pain and suffering.

I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts." Since these hurtful thoughts were chosen by me, I can now elect -- i.e., choose -- to change them.*

Loss is not loss when properly perceived. Pain is impossible. There is
no grief with any cause at all. And suffering of any kind is nothing but a
dream. These words are the truth but very few will ever process to be able to truly know
the truth of these words.

Loss, pain, grief, and suffering are made up and believed, practiced, never questioned in this world of form. . Because we are eternal beings and created by “LOVE”, we can
laugh at sickness, starvation, poverty, and death. We laugh, not because we are
making fun of ourselves or others who are in pain, but because of the silliness
in believing that a part of God could wrench itself from Him and therefore
suffer. Our deep investment in pain and grief blocks us from the pure estactic joy of
living in complete peace, understanding the purety of our creation.

This is the truth, at first to be but said and then repeated many
times; and next to be accepted as but partly true, with many reservations. Then
to be considered seriously more and more, and finally accepted as the truth.

*Jesus traces the course of everyone’s process. First we read the words and say them over and over, struggling to understand them. We then attempt to accept
their truth -- perhaps they are true, but not all the time -- and even if we
believe intellectually they are true, our daily lives certainly do not
demonstrate that belief. Yet Jesus understands we are not going to accept this
immediately, for it is a process spanning many, many years, not simply months.

In fact, this truth goes directly against everything we believe and
stand for as separate entities. Thus considerable time and hard work are
required to admit gratefully -- albeit begrudgingly at first -- we were wrong
about everything, especially the person we think we see in our bathroom mirror
every morning. When we finally accept our mistake -- and Jesus does not mean our
intellectual acceptance -- we are in the real world, for we have learned
everything our teacher can teach us.

Here’s the affirmation that was suggested you could use to help you with this change of mind:
“I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt. And I would go beyond these words today, and past all reservations, and arrive at full acceptance of the truth in them."

If you pray, here is the suggested prayer: "Father, what You have given cannot hurt, so grief and pain must be impossible. Let me not fail to trust in You today, accepting but the joyous as Your gifts; accepting but the joyous as the truth."

10-9-12  Insecurities

It's been a while since I have had something to say. I've been reflecting, just have not felt ready to produce.

My subject today is experiencing feelings of insecurity.  It seems most everyone I know has both confidence and insecurities.  I'm going to judge that this is probably normal.  I have some friends that are arrogant, which I've been told is the mind's way of denying insecurity by being boastful on the outside but still terrified that someone will find out they are really extremely insecure.

I have some insecurities which mostly are experienced at my job.  It will be interesting to see if they no longer exist when I retire in 6 months.  I always feel insecure when I'm in the company of anyone who seems to know anything that I do not know much about.  This happens quite often, but I tend to be attracted to information about the things I'm interested in.  In other words, there are many areas that I don't have any opinions or knowledge about because I haven't sought it out.

Having confidence in yourself about your abilities and not letting someone else's opinion about your abilities is the key to happiness.  I think you can have good self esteem and still be insecure in some areas of your life. 

The feeling of being insecure means that you have thoughts that have generated the insecurity. This  wonderful news because your thoughts are totally under your control as soon as you realize it and seek out changing your thoughts to rid yourself of the insecurity.  I ceratainly like knowing that my insecurity is not real that it is just a manifestation of my own incorrect thinking about myself.  This incorret thinking may be a result of some past experience where I perceived I was under verbal attack or I allowed someone else's words be the source I took upon myself which created my insecurity. I just like knowing that it's all under my control. I may not be able to correct my thinking immediately, it might take some long periods of introspect.

I will probably have more to say on this subject, but I have to close for now.

Awakening as One

This video is worth the time it takes to watch and listen to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYW7aFNZSQ8&feature=g-vrec

Non Interference in the Lives of Others

8-29-12

It's been a whole year since I began blogging. I'm impressed that I actually stuck with it. Yea! for me!

I remember reading somewhere by some famous author that writes "self help" books, I don't recall who, to have peace of mind it's important to not interfere in other peoples lives.

I have two grown daughters, a son-in-law and some close friends and I found myself voicing my opinion (judgement) about how they could do something they were doing much better, if they would do it my way.

My children did not want my advise and my friends just pushed back. I spent many frustrated hours in my own mind obsessing over this.  I finally realized that this judgment or opinion was coming from MY mind making it real only for myself.  Perception can be a harsh task-master.

Once I embraced my own eternal nature and the eternal nature of everyone else, letting go of interfering with my opinions and judgements became the way for me. Since I am here stumbling through this thing called life, then so is everyone else. No other human has my perception and I have no clue about anyone else's perception.  We really cannot completely know what someone else is thinking.

Since I believe that we are all here to learn and change, then how can I possibly know what anyone else has to do to accomplish their learning and changing.  It's not my job. We are family and freinds to be supportive and that meant to me to be supportive without judgment knowing that the people and situations in their life is for their learning not mine.

Once I finally got it, I understood why the result would be peace of mind.  Focusing on my own learning is a big enough job without taking on my perception of what someone else should or should not do.

Someone else's failure may just become their own personal victory.

8-19-12 Gratitude

It's been awhile since I've added any new posts. I've been inside myself, reflecting and witnessing. The last two days, I've been very happy with no tangible thing to say this has been the reason. I just am happy.  I've been reinforcing with my reflection how taken care of I am.  My gratitude is overflowing.  

You see, I totally believe in heaven's essence guiding and blessing me even in ways that may sound the opposite of blessing.  I learned a long time ago that if something comes up in my life that seems like a negative, that it really is a blessing.  Even though I may not rejoice right away, I do get there. I may not understand why that paticular person or event was necessary for my growth/change, but the change happens and it is always for my eternal happiness. My goal for this life-time is constant rejoicing.

I truly wish I could wrap this believe up in a pretty gift box and give it to everyone that would take the time to open it. Even it they may not be ready to receive the gift, the intent is still there. It will manifest later.

I cannot stress enough how important gratitude is to your happiness. If you suffer from depression, I believe you can find one thing about yourself or your surroundings that you like. Pick that one thing and be grateful for that. It could just be you like to shape and size of your big toe.  Get up and go wash your face. Then be grateful that you can get to the sink, that you have a wash cloth and there is water to wash your beautiful face with. This little bit of gratitude will begin to shine.  No darkness can withstand in shine.

It's really true that anyone can live in this world within an aurora of happiness.

7-20-12 The six thieves


Our six thieves are our ability to see, hear, taste, feel, our body and our mind.

These are what drives our desires, attachments, and our perception which left unchecked and unchanged will hurt us and make us unhappy, depressed, and all sorts of human maladies. I looked up the synonyms for malady (ailment, bug, complaint, complication, condition, disorder, illness, infirmity, disease, sickness, trouble). We, as a race of humans, have become complacent and far to willing to accept our condition as what is.

The good news is that we also have a spiritual mind that we can choose to access and use to reverse all the effects of our maladies. Unhappiness and letting our thieves steal our natural joy need not be. It takes the sorting out process to keep what you want and to discard what you don’t want. We are in control and if it does not feel like you are in control, start by going within and choose just one thought to re-think and change to begin the clearing out and purifying process toward true happiness.

Just take a look at the consciousness of the world. In the sixty thousand years we have been on this earth the human mind with all it’s education and knowledge is still in a pickle. The way of the world is not getting us there. It’s going to take something else. I’m proposing another way along with many others who have and are telling us there is another, better way. If you do not do this, whatever you know will turn into empty theories and be of no benefit; not beneficial to you nor to others, they will remain empty theories.