Friday, August 26, 2011

Asking for forgiveness


It's important for me to say the ideas I'm posting in this blog are my opinions and my understandings. If I am misrepresenting in any way, please forgive me.

I am just learing like everyone else and wanting to share what I've learned. I'm hoping since it is helping me, maybe it could help someone else.

I am passionate about my journey and the problems that have been solved, the values and attitudes that have been corrected, the judgments that are gone, and for a deep and abiding joy and contentment regardless of my external circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I'm a work in progress. I have to self-relect and talk about my circumstances before I get to the abiding joy and contentment part.

I'm not here at time time to just live my life, I'm here for what comes after this life. Yet, I also get to enjoy living this life better. The more I acknowledge the truth within the sweeter my existence. It is this experience I wish for all who walk this planet with me.

I came across a website that I'm going to quote " It is the quality of our thoughts that creates the quality of our lives. Everyone has a myriad of both positive and negative thoughts throughout a single day, depending on our mood, attitude and character. These thoughts create our level of consciousness----the purer our thoughts the higher our consciousness. That is why we must take time out to reflect on where our thoughts are taking us, what actions they are leading us into, and what the effects of those actions are both for ourselves and for others."

Much love, Doris

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

08-23-11 Random thoughts, continued

08/23/11 continued random thoughts on happiness.

One of the best lessons I’ve learned along this journey is the non-interference in the lives of others. It only stands to reason. We are all here muddling through this human experience wondering who we are, why we’re here or what our mission is. Everyone responds to the situations that come up in their lives differently. Our perception is totally individual as are our reactions. There is absolutely no way I would know what is best for someone else.

All my life well-intentioned people have told me what I should do or not do. They are not me. They do not have my perception, nor could they ever have a clue about that, no matter how well they think they know me. They have not had my experiences. They do not know my private thoughts. They just want me to do what they would do in that particular situation.

This is true for everyone. I would love to tell people what to do or what to choose when they ask or even when they don’t ask. It would not work for them anyway because they have their own agenda, their own lessons and they will get to the right decision for them when they get to it. No one else can have an inkling of what it will take or when.

I knew this young man that went to prison accused of killing an elderly lady during a break-in. He did seventeen years for that crime. I truly believe that this event was suppose to happen and the women agreed to sacrifice her life to help him. Of course, the plan was made before either one of them came to earth. If he had not gone to prison at seventeen he would have been killed sooner or later due to the direction of his life at that time. He came out of prison at 34 a completely changed (for the better) man. He discovered his talent for singing, playing guitar, and song writing while he was in prison. The direction of his life was redirected in a positive direction for him. He’s been out for some years now. He is happily married with children with many loving family and close friends. He is grinning and picking and loving life.

There is a beautiful young woman I know. She came from a good family. Although a moderately dysfunctional family. After a death in her family, she made choices that threw her into drugs, prostitution, and abusive situations. She did not listen to any of the people who loved her. After being incarcerated many times, she finally was sent to rehab a long distance away from her drug friends and family. She began going to AA and her life is now a happy and healthy one. She is married, graduated from college and is committed to helping others out of the life she was immersed in.

I use these examples because they are extreme and show that we just don’t know what someone has to experience in order to process through to a happy healthy life. Since I have accepted to keep my well-intentioned concerns to myself, I am not burdened by their choices or their outcomes.

Saturday, August 20, 2011


The happiness I experience is generated by the fact that my true nature, the eternal part of my existence, was not created by me, or by DNA from my parents, and because of that fact, I cannot mess it up or change it. It is immutable. Yes, it is burdened under many layers of desires, attachments, and perception. All of which can be changed. With each change my spirit is more in control. I can access it to make correct and positive decisions for myself. My ego has to let go in the light of truth. Making these changes is definately hard and sometimes they take a long time to actually happen.

None of my bad choices or expereiences have changed who I really am and there is a great source of happiness in knowing that.

I read once that there is a way to live in this world with such peace of mind that nothing including the state of the world would phase my peace of mind. When I read that, it just made sense to me and I decided, right then, to make peace of mind my only goal and I was determined to reprogram my beliefs, which changes my thoughts, which changes my perception. In that determination lies completed happiness. I'm not there yet, but I look at what I precieve as my challenges in a whole new way. I look at the lesson before me and choose the outcome I truly want.

We all want to be happy. The miracle is, that it is there for us. No one is in control of that but you. I know it seems like certain people in our lives do control our happiness and certain circumstances also seem to have negative effect. You know, "they did that to me", "it's just a bad situation and I can't help it", "there is no good solution for me here".. and on and on it goes. Believe me, I've been there, said that and did not see the way out. But that was then and this is now, and now I know the to accept living sick, sad, sorry and stupid is absolutely not necessary!

Friday, August 19, 2011


****I'm hoping anyone reading this blog, will post comments, questions, disagreements, anything to get a conversation rolling.*****Please check back often. I sincerely want to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Happiness is a feeling resulting from thought, directly related to perception, resulting from our belief system. Each individual's belief system has been formed by influence from others especially our parents and family imprinting our growing experience, from outcomes of our experiences and from the whole of society. Our unique perception is the result. This statement is completely true. It totally works for me because if I’m not experiencing happiness, then I just have to examine my thoughts which reveals my perception of what is happening to me and I can then discover the belief locked away in my subconscious fueling my experience. Beliefs can be changed and once that has happened, perception changes and the resulting experience changes. Once I realized the beauty of how it works, miracles happened. I was able to completely take responsibility for my own happiness. It mostly took a while, lots of practice until the change was actually made but completely worth it.

Here’s an example: I had a roommate at one point of my journey. One day I created this truly beautiful flower arrangement with a crystal vase and some silk flowers that looked wonderful on the dining table. I showed it to her and walked away very happy with my creativity. A little while later she brought the arrangement that she made out of the same vase and same flowers I used only adding more flowers. She was very proud of herself. I, however, was so angry I scared myself. I had to leave the apartment. I did not say anything to her. I got into my car and drove a few blocks to the beach to calm down and to understand why I was so angry. I did not like the way I was feeling and deep down inside I knew I could change this experience. After searching inside myself, I decided that her feelings were more important to me that a stupid flower arrangement. I triumphed that lesson and from them on, her feelings were always my choice over any trivial meaningless item. I definitely have control issues, but I won on that one which has lead the way to winning on many others. I’m not rid of all my control issues yet. It seems we are given the same learning experience over and over until we learn it before that particular lesson goes away.

I’ ve determined that my life is all about events which seem to be lessons in my eternal development. When I rethink an event that is happening to me and I turn my thinking into what I’m learning, happiness happens for me.

To stop blaming other people or events on your current happiness is not only empowering but healing for all involved. We are in control! I decide on my response and I am in control of my outcomes. Now, there's a miracle for you.

How does someone who is in a vulnerable place become invulnerable? By being honest ALL THE TIME! Put all your agendas, feelings, and thoughts right out there. The more I talked the more invulnerable I became. This is the real meaning of "living out loud".

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Random thoughts regarding happiness

Is happiness a fickle bitch?

Absolutely every human on the face of this earth would say that all they want is to be happy. Yet, so very few are happy, at least, not all the time. What’s the deal?

In 1985, my life took an abrupt turn in the road. This event was devastating and I over-played the dramatic role for anyone that was listening for way too long. I made myself the victim and the other person the big bad wolf. Later I accepted he was just trying to survive.

That event totally changed my experience of life. I was such a mess and I started looking for answers. I knew I wanted to be happy, but I did not know how to make that happen. I started reading self-help books and went to a counselor. Somewhere in that process I understood that I was totally co-dependant. I’m always being asked what co-dependant means. It means that you/me/most people look for their well-being, happiness outside of themselves usually attaching the responsibility to that person, place, and thing.

What is the difference between me and my. My stuff, my career, my family, my health; without a “me” there is no ‘my”.

In order to draw a circle I have to know where the center is. It’s the same with processing through the stages (passages) of this life. Where is my center?

My human heart is like a hungry snake.

Sixty thousand years ago the Chinese character for the human heart was like this:

For the past 60,000 years since the creation of earth we have been leaving our heavenly home and coming to earth in the form of a human body and we actually have desensitized our true nature to the point of completely forgetting our original home with Heavenly Father. When we first started to come to Earth in our human body, our hearts were pure and we kept our connection to our heavenly home and our creator. Over time our pure hearts became tethered with attachments and desires which were the nature of our human experiences. Now, the Chinese character for the human heart is like this:

This character has a hook attached to the heart.

If you do not believe in multiple lifetimes, that is all good. I would never tell you that what you believe is not right for you. I certainly have and have had many beliefs that I have held to and then my life would take a turn in the road and I found that my beliefs adjusted accordingly. Life is a process that is forever changing. Yea! For the changes!

I’m experiencing more happy moments; my heart is lighter more of the time because I have found my true nature.

Jesus Christ said in one of the scriptures, “Before you were in your mother’s belly, I knew you.” This scripture, to me, clearly states that I existed before I was a human baby.

There is another scripture that says, “You were created in your heavenly father’s likeness.” With DNA what could that mean except to mean that our creator’s likeness is not referring to form, but to his “Perfect Love”. Otherwise, we would all look alike. In our “true nature” we do all look alike, whatever “Perfect Love” looks like. Since “Perfect Love” can’t be seen in form, how can it be seen? For me it’s not seen as much as “felt”.

I feel, what I describe as love when:

I look into the face of babies of all kinds (human, animal, and the like). I also see it mirrored back to me in that moment.
I feel it when I am in the presence of and when I have thoughts of my children, family, and friends.
I feel it looking at sunsets, clouds, trees and snags, flowers, the ocean, rivers, lakes and streams, flora and fauna of all kind, rocks, color, and watching and listening to birds.
I feel it when I witness human kindness and triumph.
I feel it during a summer rain.
I feel it with my little dog curled up against me and watching all her antics.
I feel it appreciating art and the arts being performed and written.
I feel it laughing and goofing with family, friends and co-workers.
I feel it when I realize, in a moment, that I just reacted lovingly when I know that I used to react to the same situation in fear and the “need” to control.
I feel it when I am taught a better way to think, a better way to practice living, a better choice then I knew I had and the knowing I just experienced love that was not of my doing.
I feel it when I am listening to and sharing with my Tao kin at our Tao discussions.

But I feel it most of all when I recite and fall back on the 23 Psalms. It says it all in regard to our creators love, companionship, and constant protection. The meaning of this scripture is two-fold. The writer was describing his relationship with the creator and expressing his belief as to how the reader could also experience God. The other aspect is that all of us human beings are also eternal beings created by God in his likeness which is perfect love and in our natural state, our true nature is love and exists eternally in the state of the kind of peace that green pastures and still waters evoke deep inside of us when our senses experience them. There is the promise of goodness and mercy all the days of our lives and don’t forgot about the abundant table that is set before us. Auntie Mame said, "Life's a banquet, and most suckers are starving to death."