Saturday, December 31, 2011


I’ve been consciously observing my thoughts lately. Wow! I really get some doozies.

These are horrific thoughts regarding actions I would NEVER do, words I would NEVER SAY. I’m aware they are coming from my human mind, but WHY? Does this happen to you?

I’ve been taught that all thought produces form on some level. I certainly do not want these crazy thoughts to produce any form on any level.

I don’t want to give much attention to these random weird thoughts, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

This time of year I always take a look at my life; the people I’ve met, the people I’ve loved, the ways I’ve changed not only in my thinking but in what I like to do now versus what I’ve liked to do in my past both recent past and distant past. I go over what I would like to accomplish in both the choices I make for myself and projects I’ve been thinking about doing, books I would like to read, books I would like to write, hobbies I would like to expand on and new ones I would like to try. Life is never boring. There’s just too much to do. Just letting my day happen without me interfering is a wondrous playground.

I feel like I’ve been many different people all in one lifetime. It’s been a good ride.

Thursday, December 29, 2011


With the holidays over except for New Years, I find my mind still all busy on plans, shopping, eating. On my drive to work this morning I sincerely tried to self reflect and gain some inspirational insight. This inspiration did not come. In stead, I found my mind so busy and caught up in my worldly existence I was devoid of inspiration.

This is the way of the world and is an example of why very few people ever stop to ask if this is all there is. We all have an eternal true nature reaching out to be acknowledged. The attachments and desires of this world, and our goals and plans block who we really are.

Hoopla and festivities will never sustain any lasting happiness. The nature of true happiness has absolutely nothing to do with things or even other people. I’ve been feeling tired and distracted. I’ve decided to let these feelings be the cause to clear my mind and to stop and smell the roses (so to speak).

EXAMPLE OF IGNORANCE (ignorance in this sense is not education it is not knowing who you really are).

There is this woman at work who is always in everybody’s business. She interrupts every conversation, she finds fault with everything, and always points out what is wrong with all of her coworkers and customers. She was in my cubicle looking at a daffodil plant I brought to work. She stuck her finger in the dirt and told me what I needed to do. I really feel sorry for people like that. Do you know someone like that? Not only, do they bother the people around them, but it must be really hard to have to control everything and everybody around you. If she ever begins to let go and concentrate within herself, there will be a release of stress and relief of a great magnitude.

Friday, December 23, 2011


Our minds do not know what is real and what is not.  Have you ever had a dream that was very real. In fact, it was so real you mind will think it really happened.  I used to wake up with a recurring dream that I had killed someone.  I would have to rack my brain to go back through my life to make sure that I did not kill anyone.  The reason I'm telling you this, is because this is why your mind can be changed.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The More I cultivate the dumber I get


I have always admired and chaseed after knowledge. I love people who just seem to know things.

What I mean by my title of this post, is that the more I cultivate the true meaning of my life and my eternal nature the more worldly information I chuck off, thus me saying, "The more I cultivate the dumber I get."

I don't have a lot of time this week so I'm going to quote from a lesson I received in my Tao discussion class:

"Even though there are numerous creatures, all of them eventually will return to the root of their life. The return of all creatures to the root is called tranquility. Tranquility is the same as returning to the true self. This is the true eternal life. People who truly understand eternal life are those who understand the true self and false self (ego). Those who do not understand that soul is beyond annihilation are prone to have wild and fancy imaginations and may act rashly and impetuously. Once this occurs, mistortunes follow. Therefore, those who cherish the true self are open-minded and would tolerate everything; they are selfless and impartial."  And HAPPY!

Have a wonderful holiday!

Thursday, December 15, 2011


Everyone can change their mind. We are not two years old any longer with significant people in our life telling us what is good for us any more. There is always a choice. As long as you are not aware that you have a choice, you will probably not be capable of changing your mind. Our ego (which is not real in the eternal sense) runs on auto pilot until we stop letting our negative thoughts lead to negative projections. Every one of our thoughts will produce form at some level.

In order to be truly happy and to be in control of your outcomes takes changing your mind. Do you know that saying, “The only thing to fear is fear itself?” Fear is self generated from our subconscious. I felt truly liberated when I understood that I was in control of all my fears. That by changing my mind about what I feared the fear itself disappeared. We are drones until we free ourselves with input to change.

In every situation you find yourself in that usually has a negative outcome, take a moment and self reflect on how you would rather the outcome be. Remembering that by design you are loving and compassionate. This means that everyone else is also even if they take pride in their ornery, angry, self-defacing attitudes. You could apply the saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Take yourself out of what the herd would say or do. Stand apart from the way of the world and you will help change the world. I’m sure you have heard the saying, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I know that it seems impossible, but it is possible. It starts with you and the ripple effect will happen.

One night coming home from work during a particularly difficult time I was experiencing, I walked through my front door and my children and a few neighborhood children were playing and had created a huge mess exactly like every other day. My first reaction was the same as it always was, but this time I actually felt darkness come over me. I immediately stepped back out the door and then and there decided I did not like the person I am when I experience that dark feeling. I stepped back through the door and starting singing, “It is now cleanup time, cleanup time, cleanup time.” I said, “Come on kids let’s clean this up and I’ll help while I continued to sing. All the children began singing and the house was cleaned up in short order. I never again yelled at my children for anything. If I felt an ugly response coming on, I would turn around and choose to handle that situation where everyone’s dignity stayed in tack starting with my own. My children and grownup now and they still remember that change in me.

I’m not going to sugar coat the choice to change, it is not easy, but it can be done and it is very much worth it for you and for those you interact with. Once you start taking responsibility for your own happiness there is no going back ever. At first, you may say, “Why did I ever do this?” I promise you will be very happy you did. March on, and go towards the light, it is warm and friendly.

Friday, December 9, 2011

GET A HOBBY!! 12-09-11

That title may sound judgmental and I apologize for that. I was inspired to write about this on my way to work. I get my best thoughts while driving my car. I’ve been told that it was something to do with one side of your brain is driving the car and the creative side is more open.

I have some very dear friends that are conflicted with alcoholism. I have observed in these friends that not one of them has a hobby. I find that unusual, but it may be an indicator. When I ask them why they don’t have a hobby, they all say they cannot think of something to do.

Gaining a hobby is as easy as giving yourself the opportunity to be inspired. Each eternal being born to a human body comes into the world with a propensity to create something. Look around your house and let what you own give you inspiration. If you are drawn to beautiful landscapes, maybe your hobby would be painting or photography. Find a class and try that out. Or, if you love flowers and flora and fauna try gardening indoor and/or out. If music speaks to you, maybe you could be a singer with some voice lessons or play an instrument. You may have the ability to write lyrics or poetry.

When involved in creating while doing a hobby, I loose my awareness of time and routines. I have learned to do my creating only for myself. I was too sensitive to other’s opinions. I let my perception of their opinion take joy away from me. Now I create only for my own enjoyment. If someone likes it, all the better, and if they don’t their opinion stays with them.

If anyone asked me what is the one thing a person can do to reflect, my answer would be to first; turn off the noise. The noise is from the radio, TV, and all other instruments that deliver outside stimulation. Get in a quiet state alone and imagine yourself getting a chair and watching yourself think. Observe your thoughts without any editing. After a few times of doing this exercise you will discover which thoughts trouble you. It will give you a place to begin sorting and reprogramming. Just listening to the hum of the natural world is very relaxing. Try it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Perception is a trick on the human mind. In order to improve on your happiness, it is important to understand perception and to differentiate the human mind from your true eternal mind.

First, your true eternal mind needs to be awakened. It is burdened under many lifetimes of worldly conditioning, attachments and desires. Until you are aware that you are not your human mind, it will rule you. It’s called your ego. Ego’s can be reprogrammed to function more friendly instead of reacting from a preprogrammed dysfunctional state, but that is just treating a symptom. The real cure is to awake your true eternal mind. When that happens, your choices for reaction will be coming from love and compassion. The world is sorely in need of more folks coming from love and compassion. There is no greater mission to accept and fulfill than this one.

What is perception? I’m going to quote from yahoo answers, *** “Perception is what our senses feed to our consciousness. That is all it is, knowledge of having had a sense of sight, sound, etc. What we make of what our senses feed us is determined as "the proof in the logic." If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, it must be a duck.

But sometimes our minds do not grasp everything our senses feed us, only because we were not paying attention, or because we don't have enough prior knowledge to make sense of our perceptions.

Therefore, there is no right or wrong perception, only right or wrong interpretations of what our five senses feed our minds.”***

As we grow up our individual perception is formed and influenced by the significant people teaching us what is right or wrong according to their individual perception. There is also our interpretation of what is going on around us as we develop. Our interpretation is influenced by our past lives. We are not aware of that, but are part of the equation. If there was trauma during our developing stages, that will also shift our core beliefs which is our perception. To demonstrate this; if someone you are talking to insists that the moon is pink with purple polka dots, there is nothing you can say that will change their vision of the moon. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you knew exactly what you said and what you meant, but when that conversation is reiterated back to you by the other person, it comes back so different that you think you must be on another planet?

This is why perception is not reality. It may seem like your reality, but because it differs so much from someone else’s reality of the same situation, it cannot be called reality. Hate crimes and genocide are a very real example of this.

I promise you there is a true reality. The good news is that perception can be changed and once your true mind is awakened, your perception can be replaced with true reality. I love knowing that I am not a victim of my programming and that I can be the creator of my own world. To be on a quest for happiness you cannot accept any false ideas.

Due to individual perception two people trying to communicate will never be on “the same page” completely. This is why compassion, forgiveness and patience are important to any on-going relationship.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


I watched some of the Country Music Awards last night. It screamed out how much our society is hooked on romantic relationships. There was a time when I was also either in one or looking for another one.

The world is set up to go two by two. It always has been and it probably always will be. There is nothing wrong with these kinds of relationships. As long as you are a person that can stay focused on what is important to you and will stick to that even if your partner is not in agreement.

It wasn’t until I got over being codependent that I was able to get a handle on what was important to me. I’m one of those people that always did my partners program. I put my program either aside or lower in importance than their program, except for my children’s father. I was free in that relationship to pursue my interests apart from him and the children. Too bad I ruined that one, which I still have to try to not regret.

In the relationships I’ve had the ability to observe, in most of them there is one dominant personality which determines the program for both. In order to reflect within yourself without conflict, you need to be free of someone else’s controlling influence. Try to cultivate an atmosphere were everyone gets what they want with the complete support of each other. Exactly the way you would treat one of your good friends. If you partner is not your friend, then who are they?

I’m not suggesting you leave your relationship, especially if it is working for you. There is more than one way to be free of your partners control without leaving.

To grow spiritually it takes focus. Too many intimate relationships don’t allow for a person to focus. There are always too many places to go, people to meet, and your partners needs to fulfill. Wow! My head is swirling just mentioning this.

You can actually have peace in your heart being single. You can also have peace when you are not. The purpose of this posting is to help those who are struggling with being single to take heart and take the time to self reflect and make necessary changes for yourself. That way you will not only have peace now, but you will be stronger the next time you enter into a relationship.

Thursday, December 1, 2011



I haven’t added any posts lately because I’m reading a book I can’t put down.

I can’t decide what to write about first:

I was thinking about the fact that our life is not a competition. Living in this world competing can be fun, rewarding, and it can also be defeating and dangerous.

Some people, me included, can compete in whatever form and enjoy the camaraderie and the fun of bating my competitors. Other’s winning the competition is a matter of self esteem. It’s good to remember that no matter how good you are at whatever it is you are good at, there is always someone better. There is always someone better looking, there is always someone with a better singing voice, there is always someone faster, etc.

Some sports are down right dangerous, but that is the allure.  There are studies done that prove football especially for young folks whose brain is still developing is not only dangerous but has also been fatal. It has to do with the many blows to the head. Those blows cause the brain to ram into the scull and if not immediately dangerous, then over time has proven to be so.

Or I could write about the state of the world’s disasters. Each of us can totally affect whether or not there are disasters and where they happen. This is done with our virtue. Virtue is a commitment made within ourselves through self-reflection to change our attachments to the seduction of the world’s ways. Practicing being virtuous will not only increase our internal happiness it will also cause change in those around you. We all have a true nature that was a gift from the creator and is only love and compassion. No matter how evil we have become in our thoughts and actions, there is a place in each of us crying out to be reunited with our true eternal home. Virtue is more than just being a good person, it consists of thinking and acting with a pure heart.

I will make a decision which of these topics to cover first and will continue writing as soon as I finish my book, “These Is my Words” by Nancy E Turner. A diary of a pioneer women in the Arizona Territories during the late eighteen hundreds.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

ANGER 11-22-11

Your anger will not change what you are angry about but it will hurt you and those close to you. Don’t hurt yourself with anger when anger can be transformed with just a turn of thought.

Anger is like being stuck on the freeway. You can’t do anything about it, you can’t move forward, you can’t move back, and you can’t turn around. No matter where you have to be and what time you have to be there you are stuck. You can get as angry as you choose, wave your arms around, cuss up a blue streak. The result is the same; you are going to be stuck until you’re not.

Someone I love very much is in a situation she is very angry about. She is powerless to change the situation and her husband is also powerless to change it. Staying angry is going to create stress in her body which will takes its toll and it will also take its toll on her relationship with her husband. The situation is financially not good, but it will change for the better in time. I know that’s really easy for me to say, but I’m old enough to have a lot of these same experiences behind me to know that this will pass.

Change your mind about what you are angry about. Find a different way to see it for no other reason than to be kind to yourself and those close to you. Each of us has a core that is all compassion and love. It’s there under all the world has heaped upon it. Call on that core to help yourself.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Our true nature is pure and innocent and also is in a process. The process of my true eternal nature I would never claim to know anything about. It is the mystery of heaven.
I do think that no matter how badly we act in our human nature, our true nature stays innocent. Our eternal soul is not of our making and we cannot mess it up. Cultivating our true nature allows us to experience our original innocence and we slowly get a grip on the fact that everyone else is also innocent no matter how they act in their ego. Our judgment of someone else’s bad behavior is just that; our judgment. We could just as easily see them as innocent which shines a whole new light on their behavior from your eyes.

Jesus Christ said on the cross, “Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do.”
Was his proclamation of our natural innocence.

Children are naturally innocent until they learn to be different. Their behavior changes, but their natural innocence does not. It just gets all covered up and burdened under our worldly beliefs and our acceptance of what we experience in this world is all there is. I, for one, and very happy that is not true.

Coming only from our human heart our thoughts can go sideways. Cultivating from our true heart our thoughts take us straight to happiness.

Speaking about the mystery of heaven, I’m more content with leaving it a mystery. I would rather stay in the here and now to be as happy as I allow myself to be at my current state of process.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Power of What if. 11-11-10

The power of saying what if seems harmless; however, it can be very debilitating. I call it the power of pretend because for every what if there is an opposite what if which negates the first what if. I hear people say “what if” all the time which stops them from taking a risk that could prove to be beneficial to them.

I was watching the Country Music Awards the other night and I heard a lot of songs about the pain of lost love. I could not help but think what the difference would be living from your true self in how a person would handle letting a partner go without causing so much pain for themselves and that partner. Living from your true self gives a person an eternal perspective shedding a whole new light on the people we love and the form of that love. Love becomes open and accepting. If either you or your partner decided the relationship just was not going to work for them any more. It would be as simple as saying thanks for the memories, I wish the best live has to offer you, you made a difference in my life that will go with me forward, keep in touch if that is comfortable for you, I will miss you being around but I totally understand that you have to do what you have to do. Then being able to turn around and make the necessary changes you have to make for yourself with nothing but gratitude and love in your heart for that person and the new opportunities that will open for you now that you are single again. Now there’s a great, what if, for you. That kind of thinking would probably change the music scene.

There are no small miracles. All miracles are huge no matter how insignificant they may seem. Miracles are happening all the time all around you. Once you plug in to the energy of the universe, you can’t help but be aware of miracles. It’s 100 percent of your perception. Start to change your perception to the eternal and watch and behold!

It’s way to easy to just exist. Go to work, exercise, take care of your business, and watch your favorite television shows, all in a days work. That is what is so beautiful about cultivating your eternal nature; your daily life and the mundane aspects of it are filled with miracles.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


The title was a poster I read once, which I liked, and repeated to myself. Now, that I am in a different place (eternal being having a human experience), this saying means something different to me.

We already have what we really want. It is inside in your true nature. Looking outside yourself will never give you sustaining happiness.

The more I see the world around me, the more, I see how much importance is put on sex, and being sexy. It seems that this one issue can make or break a person’s happiness. If you don’t consider yourself sexy and you are caught up in the importance of that you will suffer. If you are unable to “keep up with the Jones” and you believe that your happiness rests on more money and more keeping with the cool crowd, you will suffer. If being with your “soul mate” is so important to you that it is all you think about, but you are only attracted to a certain look or you don’t fit into the look that mainstream singles are looking for, you will suffer.

I have to take a detour for a bit. The idea of a soul mate is a nice romantic idea but that’s about the size of it. Any relationship we have is a one of a “soul mate”. That includes mothers, fathers, siblings, relatives, and romantic partners. This is just my eternal opinion.

All of the above suffering and suffering I did not mention can be done away with by finding your true self. Looking within to find the balance between the soul and the body is where happiness exists. It’s there and is always there for you to access. It’s your connection to heaven and it comes with all the help you are ever going to need. Once you find it, it takes cultivation and standing guard over thoughts that will take you back to the world and the concerns of the world. Our attachments and desires are not easy to loose. Sometimes you will feel alone because it’s only a small percentage of us that will even get close to finding their true nature. You are not alone. You are actually helping all others who will not find their true nature this time around. You are also helping change the course of natural disasters.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

FREE WILL 10-29-11

I’ve touched on free will and now I want to discuss it more.

Along with our eternal soul creator gave us comes free will. My interpretation of free will is that the powers that run the universe will not interfere with our choices even if our choices will eventually hurt us. It just isn’t allowed. We humans are continually asking for help and if it seems like we did not get that help, we blame God (the universe). God gets blamed for a lot that he has no control over because it falls under our free will. The beautiful part is that we get the help we ask for before and after our choices even is we don’t recognize that help.

We each have a guardian angel that is always with us. We can elicit help there if we are aware. Some people have second sight and can actually see their angel/angels. You can be sure they are there, even if you don’t believe.

Belief is the prerequisite of the manifestation of the actual help you get. Every human is abundantly cared for. The guarantee of the abundance is there, but the actual knowing that you are receiving such abundance requires your belief in it. This is what I mean by “Free Will”. I’ll use myself as my example. When I really heard Psalms 23, not the first time, but the first time I really took it to heart, I understood my belief that I was completely taken care of at all times (applying my free will), is when I was able to partake of the abundant table that was set before me in the presence of my enemies. Don’t get me wrong, being completely taken care of does not mean that I get everything I want, but I do get everything I need (not what I think I need, but what the universe determines I need). I am always having to practice letting go of any attachment I have to getting what I want.

There is a lot of poverty and starvation in the world which could be the argument against this table of abundance. I certainly cannot explain that one, but maybe it has something to do with the lack of belief that the abundance is actually there. It’s been my experience that my belief is my guarantee.

Free will is the opposite of Ego. Until we take charge of our ego by first identifying what it is and how it operates, it is impossible to have access to our free will. This is the state of our societies. Ego is our unconscious programming determining our personality and our definition of what is moral and socially acceptable behavior which is separate from all other selves. Ego is our driver and is on auto pilot determining what our reactions will be in any given situation. Our ego is only of this world. It has nothing to do with our real self, our eternal self. In other words it only seems to exist like all other aspects of the world that is not eternal. Once you understand your ego and why you do and say the things you do and say, you can now actually have a choice and you may choice to evoke free will over ego. The trick to eternal happiness and bliss while playing in this world is to turn your free will over to the love that rules the universe. I’m not there yet. It takes an enlightened individual to accomplish it. The practice is so worth it.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Delusional Love 10-22-11

I am a cured relationship addict. I have fallen under the spell of delusional love many, many times. Did I say many? Yes, many times. I lived in Maui for a year and while there, I was cured from being co-dependant. I no longer experienced the “need” to be in an intimate relationship. This was a miracle for me.

The rest of what I’m going to say is purely my opinion. I think delusional love is not so much about the other person as it is about us. The other person represents something that we see is lacking in ourselves even though we may not be aware that we see any lack. There is something about being with this person that fills us up and adds value to us. This value we give to ourselves because of what we see in the other person. I realized that I valued myself through my sexuality and what I thought the men I was with thought about me. Have you ever asked yourself if you even knew the other person you just broke it off with? The truth is what we knew about that person is whay we wanted to know.

Many people have turned delusional love into a very real shared love with respect, friendship and longevity. Kudos to them.

My case is similar to what I hear many other people say. I was co-dependant and tended to give up my plans, my needs, and my individual thinking to do their plan and take care of their needs. It seems I go for the self-absorbed type. I know that a couple of these men were “nice guys”. I put that in parenthesis because nice guys have trouble talking about what bothers them. They do not like any confrontation. In order to have a happy healthy relationship, it is important to be able to communicate with your partner about every issue. Changes cannot be made if you don’t have inkling that something is wrong.

I focus on myself better when I'm not in a relationship. I get more of me accomplished. I'm a better mother, better friend, and better employee.  My spirituality has progressed further and is stronger.
If you are with someone who finds it impossible or very difficult to discuss their feelings, I implore you to find a safe way to make communication possible. Be friends and be loving. Each of you take responsibility for how you each, individually see what needs correcting. The grass is not greener. The face may change but the problems will be the same. It’s never the other guy! Fix what’s wrong with your ability to relate well.

The kind of happiness that is presented in this blog is not temporary happiness, it is all-encompassing happiness. It can happen. It’s a lot of hard work to change ourselves from within, but it is so worth it. It is why were are here at this time. You will discover your relationships transform.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Cultivating and our true compassion 10-20-11

Greed, hatred, ignorance and delusion love; these emotions do not lead to happiness.

Ignorance here means not knowing your true self and delusion love feels like happiness but usually ends in disappointment.

Cultivating is the perfect word to use in context of cultivating your true nature. If you understand how a beautiful garden grows, you know that it takes care; weeding, feeding, watering, sunshine, and tender loving care.

Groundedness, calmness, peace of mind, contemplation, gain, and the fullness of love will be the results of cultivating.

Quoting Confucius (Doctrine of the Mean, Chapter 13), “One who practices loyalty and forgiveness is not far from Tao (true, eternal love). What you do not like to be done to yourself, do not do to others.”

We are all naturally compassionate. It is inherent in our true nature. Let me elaborate what is meant when it is said that all men have a mind which cannot bear to see the sufferings of others, the meaning may be illustrated this way: Even now-a-days, if you see a child about to fall into a well, you will without exception experience a feeling of alarm and distress. You will feel so, not a a ground on which you may gain the favor of the child’s parents, nor as a ground on which you seek the praise of others, nor from a dislike to the reputation of having been unmoved by such a situation. This is our original nature and conscience. It has nothing to do with gain or loss. It flows out from our true nature naturally.

My mind wants to hash over the past with negative memories. Happiness can only be achieved in the present. I have had to stand guard over my thoughts to keep dismissing them as that was then, but I learned. No good can be gained by dwelling on words that were said, events that happened, bringing up past hurts, and past mistakes, or what we feel others have done to us. Some of them seem really hard to dismiss from my mind. It sometimes feels like my mind is on auto re-wind. I’ve made my choice for peace of mind and happiness; therefore, cultivating is the way for me. I’m grateful to know there is a way to complete happiness and that happiness can happen. It’s the only way that makes sense to me.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


The only “real” relationship is friendship. I put italics on the word real because I’m coming from the eternal perspective. The fact that I’m pushing we are eternal beings having a human experience is the place for your mind to be while reading this if you are going to get anything out of it. Even if you don’t buy the eternal part, just pretend for the sake of this presentation.

Due to the fact that we are eternal beings and we are here in our bodies and in this world, I find it helpful to separate myself from the endless roles that I am attached to either of my own doing or roles others have put on me. When I say roles I mean, mother, daughter, woman, lover, co-worker, employee, etc. Separating myself from the expectations that come inter-twined with roles helps me not interfere in the lives of my children, family and friends any more. I’ve been guilty of interfering in the past. I make changes every day; therefore, the past for me can be yesterday.

Free will does not mean that I get to choose the plan for my growth. I only get to choose when I learn any of my lessons. The same lesson will be sent to me until I have learned it. I know that I have learned it because I have peace in that situation where I used to have a spectrum of feelings from annoyance to hysteria regarding that situation.

I cringe when I hear people say, “We’re only friends.” "I don't want to ruin our friendship." Once, intimacy enters the friendship, they cease to be friends. It’s no wonder there are so many problems connected to sex.

Friendship has many levels to it:

1. The first level could be called the casual encounter; two students walking home from school together. I
     heard an interesting story in regards to two students walking home from school. One very quiet student
    who no one ever noticed and one popular student live in the same neighborhood. The quiet student was
    walking a way in front of the popular student and accidently dropped his books. The popular student ran
    up and helped him pick up his books. The two continued their walk home side by side exchanging small
    talk. The reason the quiet student had so many books with him was he had decided to kill himself on that
   day. The other student’s offer of friendship saved the other student’s life. The two students became friends
   and stayed friends throughout their lives. The casual encounter could also include a one-night stand,
   bumping into a child and showing the child kindness, and even just exchanging eye contact. There have
   been two occasions where eye contact was so profound that I have never forgot those two moments and
   they each happened many, many years ago.

2. The second level of friendship is acquaintances; neighbors, fellow students, co-workers, friends of your
    close friends, store clerks, etc. These friendships seem to be superficial. There is always an exchange of
    different sorts some pleasant and some aggravating. I have learned many things about myself and the
    world I live in from this level of friendship. Some of these friendships were the beginning of the next level
    of friendship.

3. This level is friends/relationships we get to experience for a time, some longer than others. This level can
     be the beginning of a friendship/relationship that will later become what is perceived as an enemy as in the
     examples of abuse, betrayal, broken promises, etc. Where there once was an open door, now there is a
     wall. I borrowed that line from a song. I’ve had many friends that fit into this level. Friends I wish I still
      had contact with.

4. The final level is friendships/relationships, once formed, last a life-time. It is with these friends we get
   to experience ourselves to the fullest from the worst of us to the best of us. There are many lessons on this
   level that will carry us into eternity.

There is lots of rhetoric on how to be a good friend. This can be helpful if you have run across it and choose to use the advice in nurturing your friendships/relationships. Mainly these peopel provide a process of reaction and correction. A lot of, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I just did not understand, I see what’s your saying, Wow! You really think that, and many more.” There is a dance, of sorts, that happens on this level. Here is a poem I wrote that works here:


I'm not source, but object
not doer, but player
It's all so laughable.
I'm God presence
frolicking the leela
Wrong or right is the melody
good, bad, beautiful, and ugly
are the versus.
And the beat goes on!
I see souls not roles
eternal companions
changing partners
as we doe se doe
to the plan.
I once saw lack
now I see the Kingdom of God,
I am that.
Dancing the leela
just sway to the rhythm
clap the beat and scream, "I am original innocence."

Leela: Leela is the practice of playing the game of life consciously as well as the basic nature of the divine.

I’ve said this before that there is an eternal plan for each of us. The trick is learning to stay out of your own way and letting the plan take place is our life. This is where the mystery becomes real fun for you. I love the way the universe works in my life. They know what is good and right for me. I just think I know what I want. As long as I’m in this human body, there is no “real” way for me to know what is right for me. I learned a while ago to give up planning and let my plan be revealed to me. I’m not perfect at it, but I get many opportunities to practice.

Plans have a way of falling down in mid-flight. When the universe is in charge, the right situations, the right people, and the right outcomes show up. I don’t always like these situations or people, but I always like the outcome. That’s why it is important to turn your free will over to your higher power’s will. If you do, your happiness, is what you will experience.

Saturday, October 8, 2011


Random thought: "It’s never the other guy."

Painfully shy, overt/covert aggressiveness, obsessive controlling behavior:

All of these personally traits are learned responses and are all cut from the same cloth.

Modern psychology has each of them diagnosed and treatments outlined which will work when practiced properly. It’s all good.

Psychology is a lot like most medicines; it treats the symptoms but is not the cure.
I’ve done the psychology thing and it helped me a lot to get a healthier outlook and put my healing on a better track.

The cure is to completely embrace your true nature in every way possible. I cannot stress this enough. It is the only cure. Please remember we are not here for a nice life-time we are here to gain momentum for eternity. You will always have your true nature while your human personality is only for the while you are in your body.

There are no mistakes within your true nature. All the virtue you can muster is contained there. To be virtuous is to have absolute joy and happiness most of the time. I say most of the time, because of the human element. Virtue and joy is our birthright of our soul, but while in our human state, we will always be choosing and re-choosing. I say always, because I don’t know anyone who is so virtuous they have reached complete enlightenment that is alive today. There may well be some, and I hope there is. When one is walking around with the “mandate of heaven” there is an expectation to always present virtue. How complete their virtue is would be a question to ask them directly.

One of the issues I seem to always struggle with is when I make a mistake and it is pointed out to me. It’s a work in progress. I wish I could retire so the mistakes I make at work would cease. I choose to look at them as an opportunity to rise above my initial reaction, which I usually get to upon reflection.

People are the precious commodity here. The mistakes I make are not important, but the people involved are. We are all just stumbling along the best we can trying to get this thing called life right. I certainly don’t want to throw any rocks in anyone’s way.

I read once that it is impossible to put another down without hurting both of you.
It’s a hard truth to believe and to understand. Think if it this way, to put another down; that thought was first conceived of in your mind. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how that thought would also have an effect on you.

I know people that are painfully shy and other people that are controlling. Neither of these are easy to change. Use every resource available because it’s good to know who you really are. Come out into the light and shine.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


I am reforming my passive aggressive personality. What is passive/aggressive?

It is saying yes, when you want to say no and then blaming the person for making you say yes. It is being angry at someone, but acting like there is nothing wrong then sneaking quilt in on that person for your feelings. That person does not know how you feel, but they should know better. It’s saying you’ll do something knowing you’ll be mad at that person for asking you to do that. There will be punishment involved whether that person knows why they are being punished or not. It is doing all the thinking and feeling in your relationships for both of you whether your partner even thinks or feels the way you are sure they do.

Sound familiar? Passive/aggressive behavior is a learned response from parents, teachers, people that have authority over you, or learned from intimate partners.

Once I took responsibility from my own happiness, I can no longer respond to situations passively and aggressively. That behavior is no way to be happy. It is not being honest to yourself or anyone else. Confrontations are no fun and most humans steer clear of them in one way or another. Stuffing your feelings with someday explode with all kinds of fallout (divorce, suicide, depression, any other ugly ways).

Have you ever said, “I wish he would just tell me the truth and let me decide what will work for me.” Guess what? That’s a two-way street.

Have you ever heard the saying, “There are only two things we have to do in this life; die and pay taxes?” Neither one of those are true. You don’t have to pay taxes. You may end up in jail, but you don’t HAVE to pay them. There are two friends of mine that have never paid them. Both of these friends are self-employed. As far as the dying part goes, the Bible depicts the story of Enoch who was taken to heaven without dying first. There is also one of the disciples that is still supposed to be still around for the past 2,000 years.

The only thing we all have to do is to be honest because we will never be truly happy unless we are. I am not talking about telling some lie for whatever reason. What I’m talking about is to know your feelings and being honest to yourself about them and if someone you love is on the other side of those feelings, being honest with them. If you just don’t want to tell the other person what you are feeling, then examine the thoughts that are producing those feelings and be honest there and take full responsibility for the outcome. If you do this, most times, you will be able to change your feelings without ever having to involve that other person. This takes a willingness to change your internal programming. It is also the act of real love.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The vile names we call ourselves LECTURE: 9-29-11

I was just sent an email which is considered funny about being a bitch before your coffee and still being a bitch after your coffee. The world has accepted that being a bitch or a jerk is something to be proud of. Please do not think of yourself as anything other than loving. You were created by love to be love and to experience love. Thought is proactive. It is impossible for thought to NOT take form and produce action. I am not making it up. It is the truth just like the world was not flat.

The practice of putting someone in their place, winning useless arguments, putting extreme effort into making another person wrong so you can be right, etc. is considered taking care of business, not letting anyone walk over you, and being strong. The results of these actions are immutable. Not only did your actions impact another person, it also impacted you whether you are aware of it or not. Your true nature is already burdened under desires and attachments don’t burden it with incorrectly labeling yourself.

Be the love that you are naturally.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Complaining and fault finding

I went to a brunch this weekend with two other women. I love these women and I enjoy their company. I do my share of verbally noting annoyances and there were many annoyances being noted by all of us.

I am determined not to disturb my degree of happiness which is impossible for me to maintain when I am complaining, or just noting, which is complaining. No matter what spin I put on it, it equates to an attitude problem. This is why I am posting this; to remind myself. I can only change myself.

Attitudes are connected to our core values and they are habitual. I came from a family of complainers. Complaining and fault finding was the accepted form of communication. I am finding this habit difficult to deal with and to stop. It is very easy to get caught up with the heat of the complaining.

I understand I must take full responsibility for both my own happiness and spiritual well-being. Material possessions and other people can contribute to my worldly comfort and well-being and perhaps inspire me, but I alone, must develop the right attitudes and values that will provide a deep and abiding joy and contentment regardless of my external circumstances. Complaining is a diversion and I never like the results.

Letting Go:

It is possible to maintain serenity of mind no matter what my circumstances are. The more I allow my mind to run unchecked with thoughts that are not really essential the more unsettled my mind becomes. I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to let go of negative events that have taken place in the past. To secure my happiness I must stand guard over my thinking and not let it get revved up. I have self-reflection techniques that help stop those thoughts and their eventual results which make me feel dark, ugly and right. In this situation the more “right” I am the more “wrong” I am.

Self Reflection:

So we need to remember that our thoughts create our consciousness and our consciousness determines the way we lead our life. The way we lead our life determines the state of our actions, the results of those actions and the effects those results have on other people.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Intention 9-21-11

I wanted to write something like this blog for a long time before I actually did it. I told myself I could not publish anything until I could walk the talk. That being said, I was at my Tao discussion group on Sunday and my ego mind showed up guised as inspiration. I felt inspired to share, but this time, I also felt an attachment to what I wanted to say. It felt controlling. It was not natural it was my ego wanting some recognition.

I find it very interesting these two minds I have. My true mind which is a gift from the creator filled with compassion and correct desire to help others and my ego mind. My ego mind being my perception also the sum total of my worldly values. I’ve learned by studying Tao that I came into this world with karmic seeds from my past lives. The whole reason for cultivating is to remove these seeds. These seeds represent attachments and desires. Each comes equipped with cause and effect. Or, also, reaction and consequence. I know this far in my cultivation, if I do not like the consequence; I have a belief ensconced in my subconscious that has to be changed. I am very grateful for all the resources all around to help me fully examine, in self reflection, and to influence changing my values that are of this world. I fully accept that I am an eternal being having a human experience. Each time I am successful in learning the lesson I get to experience joy and knowing that another karmic seed has been removed from my subconscious.

“The desire and the consequence rise together.” Buddha

I have already decided for my next discussion group to quietly determine my intention with each idea I wish to share before I speak.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


Teasing is only teasing when there is not shred of truth to it.

FEAR = False evidence acting real

True happiness is only experienced in the moment. The past is history and the future is a mystery.

It’s not what other people think of you, it’s what you think they think.

"We can't blame a fire for burning." Buddha

Non interference in the lives of others.

All attraction is of God.

Every "end" is a new "beginning".

Friday, September 9, 2011

THE PROCESS - 9-9-11

My sister read my blog and we had a great discussion about the “Process”. She is mainstream traditional Christian. I am also Christian but with added Eastern beliefs.
We used to argue about religion. Now, we understand that we each have a different view but we both love God. She has been writing and researching on the canonization of the Bible. This is the process of elimination and rearranging of the books of the Bible to have what we have today.

The process of life is learning, then relearning, eliminating, expanding, and constantly growing. The process will take us through all the phases of our life; (Infant, toddler, child, puberty, teenager, young adult, adult, and senior). The only factor that could change the natural flow of change could be a traumatic event.

My spirituality is an on-going process. I started my life as a Southern Baptist. That was the religion my parents raised me in. All I remember from that experience is to fear God. Our pastor did not allow us to wear makeup or to go to dances. I did both.

The next phase was learning to be a Catholic for love. I was in love with a sailor from Brooklyn New York who was an Italian whose family was from Sicily. They were Catholics which meant Joe and I had to be married in the Catholic Church or they did not recognize the marriage as a marriage. Joe and I were in California. His ship was leaving for Vietnam. We decided to get secretly married from our families in order to get the spousal support from the Navy while he was gone. I was baptized into the Catholic religion and our family wedding was planned for after he was discharged from the Navy.
We never made it to that wedding.

One year later I was remarried and living in Renton, Washington. My new husband and I were baptized into the Mormon religion. It was during these 10 years I came to have a personal relationship with God.

Twelve years later I was divorced again and looking for answers. I found many answers which led me to a study of Eastern Religions. My beliefs were morphing again. Five years later I was married for the third time and excommunicated from the Mormon Church. That marriage only last for four years and was a very difficult time for me.

Since then, after a few more attempts at relationships, I have processed to not “needing” to be in a relationship. I put needing in parenthesis because it was the need that I’ve processed through. I am quite content being on my own. Now I continue the process with a group of people where we discuss Tao. It’s really here, where my happiness really started to soar and continues to soar and grow in understanding.

I sincerely believe there is a plan for each of our lives. That plan is this process. This process will take each of us back to our eternal heavenly home. The time that takes is entirely up to us and when we are willing to learn each lesson.

I would love it if you would post your process and how that is continuing for you.


Friday, September 2, 2011


One of my friends called me to say he read my blog and agreed with most of it. He went on to say there is also sadness, there is gain and loss, there are times when your children give you happiness and then they give you grief. All these have an effect on happiness.

I know where he is coming from. What he is describing is duality. Duality is ONLY of this world. The happiness my blog is describing is NOT of this world. It comes from your eternal true self and is the happiness that will get you through every form of duality you will experience while you are doing your human experience. Sadness and loss happen here in the world of form and time. Finding your true nature and cultivating from your true heart gives you a better way to handle loss, grief, and sadness.

I’ve always wanted to reform the world from all that is wrong with it. I would see injustice that threw me into a tirade even if I could not do anything about it. Standing in my true nature I still see injustice of all kind, but it has a different meaning to me now. The best way to help in the world and to actually have an impact on the world’s natural disasters that are occurring more frequently is to stand in your true nature and pass it on.

My higher power is Jesus Christ. When I am bothered with my thinking on whatever the subject of the moment is, it is, now, easier to turn that thinking and the outcome over to the powers to be. If there is a lesson there for me, I choose to learn it. Sometimes I understand the lesson and it is learned quickly. Other times, I have to mull it over in my mind applying the possible outcomes until I allow myself the joy of getting it. There are times it requires me to ask the Holy Spirit to choose for God for me due to the fact I seem to be unable to choose for God and the eventual peace that follows at that moment. My prayer is always answered and peace of mind always follows. Peace that is not of my making.

The law of cause and effect is the law of nature. Understanding this law has the power to transform your outcomes and be in total control of your happiness at all times, if you choose it. Your happiness is totally your responsibility and you can do it. I know you can. Just remember, until you understand your happiness is in your control, you and anybody else that does not understand are not in control.

It’s very hard for most of us to understand why a person stays in an abusive relationship. I’ll explain it this way, if someone sees a purple moon, no amount of explaining will get them to see the moon as you see it. When they get there, they get there.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Asking for forgiveness


It's important for me to say the ideas I'm posting in this blog are my opinions and my understandings. If I am misrepresenting in any way, please forgive me.

I am just learing like everyone else and wanting to share what I've learned. I'm hoping since it is helping me, maybe it could help someone else.

I am passionate about my journey and the problems that have been solved, the values and attitudes that have been corrected, the judgments that are gone, and for a deep and abiding joy and contentment regardless of my external circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I'm a work in progress. I have to self-relect and talk about my circumstances before I get to the abiding joy and contentment part.

I'm not here at time time to just live my life, I'm here for what comes after this life. Yet, I also get to enjoy living this life better. The more I acknowledge the truth within the sweeter my existence. It is this experience I wish for all who walk this planet with me.

I came across a website that I'm going to quote " It is the quality of our thoughts that creates the quality of our lives. Everyone has a myriad of both positive and negative thoughts throughout a single day, depending on our mood, attitude and character. These thoughts create our level of consciousness----the purer our thoughts the higher our consciousness. That is why we must take time out to reflect on where our thoughts are taking us, what actions they are leading us into, and what the effects of those actions are both for ourselves and for others."

Much love, Doris

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

08-23-11 Random thoughts, continued

08/23/11 continued random thoughts on happiness.

One of the best lessons I’ve learned along this journey is the non-interference in the lives of others. It only stands to reason. We are all here muddling through this human experience wondering who we are, why we’re here or what our mission is. Everyone responds to the situations that come up in their lives differently. Our perception is totally individual as are our reactions. There is absolutely no way I would know what is best for someone else.

All my life well-intentioned people have told me what I should do or not do. They are not me. They do not have my perception, nor could they ever have a clue about that, no matter how well they think they know me. They have not had my experiences. They do not know my private thoughts. They just want me to do what they would do in that particular situation.

This is true for everyone. I would love to tell people what to do or what to choose when they ask or even when they don’t ask. It would not work for them anyway because they have their own agenda, their own lessons and they will get to the right decision for them when they get to it. No one else can have an inkling of what it will take or when.

I knew this young man that went to prison accused of killing an elderly lady during a break-in. He did seventeen years for that crime. I truly believe that this event was suppose to happen and the women agreed to sacrifice her life to help him. Of course, the plan was made before either one of them came to earth. If he had not gone to prison at seventeen he would have been killed sooner or later due to the direction of his life at that time. He came out of prison at 34 a completely changed (for the better) man. He discovered his talent for singing, playing guitar, and song writing while he was in prison. The direction of his life was redirected in a positive direction for him. He’s been out for some years now. He is happily married with children with many loving family and close friends. He is grinning and picking and loving life.

There is a beautiful young woman I know. She came from a good family. Although a moderately dysfunctional family. After a death in her family, she made choices that threw her into drugs, prostitution, and abusive situations. She did not listen to any of the people who loved her. After being incarcerated many times, she finally was sent to rehab a long distance away from her drug friends and family. She began going to AA and her life is now a happy and healthy one. She is married, graduated from college and is committed to helping others out of the life she was immersed in.

I use these examples because they are extreme and show that we just don’t know what someone has to experience in order to process through to a happy healthy life. Since I have accepted to keep my well-intentioned concerns to myself, I am not burdened by their choices or their outcomes.

Saturday, August 20, 2011


The happiness I experience is generated by the fact that my true nature, the eternal part of my existence, was not created by me, or by DNA from my parents, and because of that fact, I cannot mess it up or change it. It is immutable. Yes, it is burdened under many layers of desires, attachments, and perception. All of which can be changed. With each change my spirit is more in control. I can access it to make correct and positive decisions for myself. My ego has to let go in the light of truth. Making these changes is definately hard and sometimes they take a long time to actually happen.

None of my bad choices or expereiences have changed who I really am and there is a great source of happiness in knowing that.

I read once that there is a way to live in this world with such peace of mind that nothing including the state of the world would phase my peace of mind. When I read that, it just made sense to me and I decided, right then, to make peace of mind my only goal and I was determined to reprogram my beliefs, which changes my thoughts, which changes my perception. In that determination lies completed happiness. I'm not there yet, but I look at what I precieve as my challenges in a whole new way. I look at the lesson before me and choose the outcome I truly want.

We all want to be happy. The miracle is, that it is there for us. No one is in control of that but you. I know it seems like certain people in our lives do control our happiness and certain circumstances also seem to have negative effect. You know, "they did that to me", "it's just a bad situation and I can't help it", "there is no good solution for me here".. and on and on it goes. Believe me, I've been there, said that and did not see the way out. But that was then and this is now, and now I know the to accept living sick, sad, sorry and stupid is absolutely not necessary!

Friday, August 19, 2011


****I'm hoping anyone reading this blog, will post comments, questions, disagreements, anything to get a conversation rolling.*****Please check back often. I sincerely want to hear your thoughts on the subject.

Happiness is a feeling resulting from thought, directly related to perception, resulting from our belief system. Each individual's belief system has been formed by influence from others especially our parents and family imprinting our growing experience, from outcomes of our experiences and from the whole of society. Our unique perception is the result. This statement is completely true. It totally works for me because if I’m not experiencing happiness, then I just have to examine my thoughts which reveals my perception of what is happening to me and I can then discover the belief locked away in my subconscious fueling my experience. Beliefs can be changed and once that has happened, perception changes and the resulting experience changes. Once I realized the beauty of how it works, miracles happened. I was able to completely take responsibility for my own happiness. It mostly took a while, lots of practice until the change was actually made but completely worth it.

Here’s an example: I had a roommate at one point of my journey. One day I created this truly beautiful flower arrangement with a crystal vase and some silk flowers that looked wonderful on the dining table. I showed it to her and walked away very happy with my creativity. A little while later she brought the arrangement that she made out of the same vase and same flowers I used only adding more flowers. She was very proud of herself. I, however, was so angry I scared myself. I had to leave the apartment. I did not say anything to her. I got into my car and drove a few blocks to the beach to calm down and to understand why I was so angry. I did not like the way I was feeling and deep down inside I knew I could change this experience. After searching inside myself, I decided that her feelings were more important to me that a stupid flower arrangement. I triumphed that lesson and from them on, her feelings were always my choice over any trivial meaningless item. I definitely have control issues, but I won on that one which has lead the way to winning on many others. I’m not rid of all my control issues yet. It seems we are given the same learning experience over and over until we learn it before that particular lesson goes away.

I’ ve determined that my life is all about events which seem to be lessons in my eternal development. When I rethink an event that is happening to me and I turn my thinking into what I’m learning, happiness happens for me.

To stop blaming other people or events on your current happiness is not only empowering but healing for all involved. We are in control! I decide on my response and I am in control of my outcomes. Now, there's a miracle for you.

How does someone who is in a vulnerable place become invulnerable? By being honest ALL THE TIME! Put all your agendas, feelings, and thoughts right out there. The more I talked the more invulnerable I became. This is the real meaning of "living out loud".

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Random thoughts regarding happiness

Is happiness a fickle bitch?

Absolutely every human on the face of this earth would say that all they want is to be happy. Yet, so very few are happy, at least, not all the time. What’s the deal?

In 1985, my life took an abrupt turn in the road. This event was devastating and I over-played the dramatic role for anyone that was listening for way too long. I made myself the victim and the other person the big bad wolf. Later I accepted he was just trying to survive.

That event totally changed my experience of life. I was such a mess and I started looking for answers. I knew I wanted to be happy, but I did not know how to make that happen. I started reading self-help books and went to a counselor. Somewhere in that process I understood that I was totally co-dependant. I’m always being asked what co-dependant means. It means that you/me/most people look for their well-being, happiness outside of themselves usually attaching the responsibility to that person, place, and thing.

What is the difference between me and my. My stuff, my career, my family, my health; without a “me” there is no ‘my”.

In order to draw a circle I have to know where the center is. It’s the same with processing through the stages (passages) of this life. Where is my center?

My human heart is like a hungry snake.

Sixty thousand years ago the Chinese character for the human heart was like this:

For the past 60,000 years since the creation of earth we have been leaving our heavenly home and coming to earth in the form of a human body and we actually have desensitized our true nature to the point of completely forgetting our original home with Heavenly Father. When we first started to come to Earth in our human body, our hearts were pure and we kept our connection to our heavenly home and our creator. Over time our pure hearts became tethered with attachments and desires which were the nature of our human experiences. Now, the Chinese character for the human heart is like this:

This character has a hook attached to the heart.

If you do not believe in multiple lifetimes, that is all good. I would never tell you that what you believe is not right for you. I certainly have and have had many beliefs that I have held to and then my life would take a turn in the road and I found that my beliefs adjusted accordingly. Life is a process that is forever changing. Yea! For the changes!

I’m experiencing more happy moments; my heart is lighter more of the time because I have found my true nature.

Jesus Christ said in one of the scriptures, “Before you were in your mother’s belly, I knew you.” This scripture, to me, clearly states that I existed before I was a human baby.

There is another scripture that says, “You were created in your heavenly father’s likeness.” With DNA what could that mean except to mean that our creator’s likeness is not referring to form, but to his “Perfect Love”. Otherwise, we would all look alike. In our “true nature” we do all look alike, whatever “Perfect Love” looks like. Since “Perfect Love” can’t be seen in form, how can it be seen? For me it’s not seen as much as “felt”.

I feel, what I describe as love when:

I look into the face of babies of all kinds (human, animal, and the like). I also see it mirrored back to me in that moment.
I feel it when I am in the presence of and when I have thoughts of my children, family, and friends.
I feel it looking at sunsets, clouds, trees and snags, flowers, the ocean, rivers, lakes and streams, flora and fauna of all kind, rocks, color, and watching and listening to birds.
I feel it when I witness human kindness and triumph.
I feel it during a summer rain.
I feel it with my little dog curled up against me and watching all her antics.
I feel it appreciating art and the arts being performed and written.
I feel it laughing and goofing with family, friends and co-workers.
I feel it when I realize, in a moment, that I just reacted lovingly when I know that I used to react to the same situation in fear and the “need” to control.
I feel it when I am taught a better way to think, a better way to practice living, a better choice then I knew I had and the knowing I just experienced love that was not of my doing.
I feel it when I am listening to and sharing with my Tao kin at our Tao discussions.

But I feel it most of all when I recite and fall back on the 23 Psalms. It says it all in regard to our creators love, companionship, and constant protection. The meaning of this scripture is two-fold. The writer was describing his relationship with the creator and expressing his belief as to how the reader could also experience God. The other aspect is that all of us human beings are also eternal beings created by God in his likeness which is perfect love and in our natural state, our true nature is love and exists eternally in the state of the kind of peace that green pastures and still waters evoke deep inside of us when our senses experience them. There is the promise of goodness and mercy all the days of our lives and don’t forgot about the abundant table that is set before us. Auntie Mame said, "Life's a banquet, and most suckers are starving to death."